We are all slightly insane

Regardless of how much I love Ellie, I was so glad to get back to my job once she was born. “I would go crazy being home all day long'. I just wasn't cut out to be with my child 24/7. My sister, though, loved being home with her girls. I think it is such a personal decision. Some people will say to me, "you have a special needs child, you need to be home with her." I think, especially when you have a special needs child, you need to have your own life. You need to find that balance, or you will go clinically insane, not silly insane.

I have a family friend I have known for years, that still after 14 years, has not returned to work. She has no desire to return. I think she also knows that deep down inside, her world would change dramatically if she did go back to work. I think that my friend, is not the norm though. Putting finances aside, most of us need that balance or we go silly insane.

No matter how much our society has changed in the three decades since my sister Lindsey and I were born, one thing remains consistent: Many women prefer to combine motherhood with their careers outside the house; others have chosen motherhood as their career. What intrigues me, today, are the young women who not only believe that working women are deserting, and hurting, their children, but who consistently and loudly broadcast that they know how to feed, entertain, educate and put their kids to sleep better than any other mothers who came before them. Lindsey, by the way, is not one of these women!

I sincerely think that many of these children, and mothers, all would be better off, especially in the long run, if they spent more time apart from one another.

I believe I can safely say that no matter how much a woman cherishes her children, she’d be wise to have more dimension in her life, because children grow up pretty quickly, and then what? I’ve seen too many women from my mom's generation who were lost when they no longer played a starring role in their children’s lives. I also question any woman who can spend day in and day out with her children without needing other kinds of stimulation. (And I don’t mean waiting to talk to her husband at dinner or awaiting the weekends.)

As for the well being of a child, isn’t he or she better off with a happy, fulfilled mother, who may also have a career, than with an unfulfilled mother who doesn’t?

I recently saw a poll asking facebook members if they feel fulfilled in their lives, and a whopping 50 percent said they do not. That’s a depressingly high percentage. Half the women polled have paying jobs, and the other half do things like volunteer; have fun times with their partner or friends; care for their aging parents; spend time with their grandchildren, and enjoy hobbies. The poll didn’t determine the correlation between fulfillment and working. And I’m surely not suggesting that working is the only thing that fulfills a woman. But it certainly makes sense to broaden your horizons as much as possible beyond your children, when you’re a young woman, than to limit your potential and wind up feeling unfulfilled.